Monthly Archives: December 2012

Gettin’ Crazy With a New Year’s Eve Salad

I woke up feeling much better today. I don’t yet have the shoot-up-out-of-bed-like-a-friggin-rocket energy that I’ve read people get from their Whole 30 experience, but I definitely felt good most of the day. A bit of a headache around noon, but it actually passed, which is kind of a big deal for a migraine sufferer. Normally if we get a headache, it just gets worse until we break down and take something, so the passing headache is worth noting. A bit of bloat this afternoon, but nothing major. I had been feeling bloaty a lot before I started eating on the plan, and I’m hoping that’s something that will no longer be part of my life during the 30 and in my post-30 paleo transition.

Today I ate leftover scrambled eggs and turkey sausage, avocado, and bell peppers for breakfast, leftover bison patties and coconut-lime green beans for lunch, and a big honkin’ salad for dinner (I didn’t need to break into my emergency frozen borscht!). I’ve also had about a handful of toasty coconut, a few dried figs, a kombucha, and  half of an apple pear. Holy crud, if you don’t know what apple pears (Asian pears) are, go find one and shove it in your face; they are freakin’ boffo. And what of this toasty coconut? One of my new favorite things! Coconut chips, cinnamon, and salt. Toast them up in a pan and they come out tasting like a crunchy, popcorny treat. I want to eat them forever and ever.

When I started to read paleo blogs, I was always a little surprised by the GIANT salads people were eating. I suppose I know now why they turn out that way. . .because you just keep piling on whatever protein, good fat, and veg you’ve got sitting around to create Salad Mountain. Salad Mountain this evening started with a bed of mixed baby greens and spinach, red bell pepper, carrot, avocado, snap peas, toasted almond slices, hard boiled egg, and delicious home-made pickled asparagus from a friend (thank you, Steve!). My dressing of choice lately has been simple: organic balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil. NYE Salad Mountain was delicious, but it made me realize that I probably need to get a light or something if I’m going to keep taking pictures of my food.

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3/4 of NYE Salad Mountain

Happy New Year, people of blogland! I’m holed up in my apartment in my sweats, smelling like LUSH (Ro’s Argan Body Conditioner, FTW!), about to embark on a Tom Hardy-a-thon (what? don’t judge me). Tomorrow my journey officially begins, and I’ve got some good stuff planned since I’ll be home for the day. I’m ready!

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My Brain Hates Me

I’ve been eating on the Whole 30 plan for four days now, and today my brain hates me. Presumably because my body is all “hey, give me some carbs and sugar and shit!” And I’m all “no, I do what I want!” And my body is all “fine, deal with THIS, fatty!” Enter my long-time nemesis, migraine. I had to break down and follow my typical migraine protocol: Imitrex, a long bath, and next, going to bed early. Hopefully the little bastard will be gone tomorrow, but as all migraine sufferers know, it might just tag along for another day or two.

Today I ate leftover paleo brunch from yesterday for breakfast, leftover coconut-lime green beans and bison for lunch, and a big honkin’ salad with some egg and one bison patty for dinner. I was going to prep one of my very favorite winter foods (butternut squash turkey chili!) to put in the crock pot in the morning, but I feel too shitty to chop and brown turkey. Good thing I’ve got some frozen borscht to eat and to write about tomorrow.

Bison and Green Beans

I haven’t officially started my Whole 30 yet, but I’ve been eating paleo for about three days now. This morning it was paleo brunch with my girl Hallie Badger (Hallie Badger don’t give a shit!). I made some turkey breakfast sausage that I found on the lovely blog Chow Bella, and scrambled up some eggs with Penzeys Mural of Flavor herb blend and some crushed red pepper. Hallie made some awesome paleo tomato bisque, which I will definitely be making again. Coconut milk for the win!

This evening I made coconut-almond green beans from Well Fed. If you’re cooking paleo and you don’t have this cook book, you should. I’ve got a bunch of recipes planned from this one. With the remnants of the coconut milk and spices in the pan, I cooked some ground bison patties from Bison World in Noblesville, IN, with Penzeys Bangkok Blend spice. The mix of Thai spices went nicely with the green beans. Since I’m avoiding condiments, an avocado slice accompanied the bison into my facehole, and I cut up a carrot for good measure and pretty colors in my guts. Both my facehole and guts were very happy with this meal.

Grass fed bison patty and almond-coconut green beans

Grass fed bison patty and almond-coconut green beans

1/1/2013. Mark Your Calendars, or Whatever

In an effort to hold myself accountable, I will be blogging about my experience with the Whole 30, starting on January 1. Visit to read my ramblings, view some food porn, get some recipe ideas, or just to watch me suffer.

SO. What is the Whole 30? It’s a diet program through which I hope to discover some of my food sensitivities and transition into a better diet that keeps some of my irritating health and skin problems (asthma, migraines, eczema, acne) under control. Meals consist of protein from pastured/grass fed, organically raised or wild (ideally local) animals, good fats, tons of veggies, and fruit. Sounds tasty, right? The challenging part? Here’s the “NO” list:

  • No grains
  • No dairy
  • No soy
  • No added sugar or sweeteners
  • No booze
  • No sulfites, carrageenan or MSG (preservatives)
  • No white potatoes

So I’m saying goodbye to my favorite processed foods, ice cream, beer, diet pop, and my BFF, cheese, for a month. At the end of the month, I’ll introduce grains, dairy, and soy back into my diet one at a time to see what effect they have. Then I’ll decide what my diet needs to look like moving forward, but I have a feeling it’s going to look an awful lot like the paleo diet.

But a caveman would totally eat pizza if he got his hands on one right? Going paleo isn’t just about eating what cavemen ate. It’s about eating what’s most digestible, doesn’t cause systemic inflammation (remember all of those chronic inflammatory problems I have?), and doesn’t fuck with your hormones. Also, as a CrossFitter (trust me, I use the term loosely), it’s about not being hungry and fueling my weird CrossFit/yoga mashup workout schedule. Oh, and hopefully losing some weight.

So join me in my adventure here in blogland. I don’t expect it to be easy, but I do expect that I will make some major dietary changes after I’m finished.